In a sea of responsibilities,
I am swimming to you,
Oh, meaning, I will slow down for you.
Collected quotes for today:
“I was brutish and ignorant; I was like a beast toward you.
Nevertheless, I am continually with You;
You hold my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward, You will receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but You?
And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides You.”
“You cannot conceive how I ache to be with you: how I would die for one hour – for what is in the world? I say you cannot conceive; it is impossible you should look with such eyes upon me as I have upon you: it cannot be. Forgive me if I wander a little this evening, for I have been all day employed in a very abstract Poem and I am in deep love with you – two things which must excuse me..”
-John Keats to Fanny Brawne
“I used to lie on the pallet in the hall, waiting until I could hear them all asleep, so I could get up and go back to the bucket. It would be black, the shelf black, the still surface of the water a round orifice in nothingness, where before I stirred it awake with the dipper I could see maybe a star or two in the bucket, and maybe in the dipper a star or two before I drank.”
I am an English Education major, and my days consist of reading and talking about reading. They consist of snatched moments with a boy that I love. They consist of choosing to listen to Him Who Loves Relentlessly while He sings His song of truth.
And, oh, it is a beautiful song.
After reading one of the love letters Poet John Keats sent to Fanny, I attempted to write something, something to Will. I blushed at Keat’s idolatry. I wanted to refine and remember why it is important for me not to “pray, pray, pray to your star like a Hethen.”
And God gave me the opportunity. As I walked first in the wrong direction, then, remembering my car in the church lot, walked all the way back. The wind blowing my hair the entire time and making me feel beautiful despite that I am fasting look at myself (and inadvertently make-up), I found his car two spots next to mine. I sat in my own car’s backseat and ended up being honest rather than excessive.
It’s fun to leave surprises for others to find. And to drink tea.
And, finally, a little Fielding from Tom Jones:
“She would, indeed, sometimes make a few observations, as that men were headstrong, and must have their own way, and would wish she had been blest with an independent fortune; but these were always vented in a low voice, and at the most amounted only to what is called muttering.”